Aleph Yin (gloominous_doom) wrote,
Aleph Yin

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people think i hate christmas, and any holiday or celebration for that matter.
like most things people think about me, this isn't true.
i love christmas, i just often elect not to participate.
i wish i could, but usually i'm too poor, and that's what christmas is for me, an excuse to give gifts to the people i care about. i feel as though i'm taking advantage if i receive gifts. i suppose i'll always be an altruist at heart.
another reason is that i have a symptom of catatonic schizophrenia called 'flat affect' essentially, my emotions tend to stay beneath the skin, i often appear impassive or uninterested even when i am overwhelmed with emotions, so when people buy me gifts, no matter how happy and grateful i may feel they always are disappointed by my lack of reaction.
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